The year is 2007 and little bluenose Duncan is talking to his
bluenose Dad
SON "Dad, my mates in school told me that Liverpool won the
European Cup for the 5th time in 2005 - are they right dad?
DAD "Yes son, it's true, but they were dead lucky son, all the way
through the tournament"
SON "Why dad?"
DAD "Well in the group stages ....."
SON "What dad, did they have a team from Azerbaijan, Israel, and ireland
in their group?"
DAD "Well no, they had Monaco, Deportivo la Coruna, and
Olympiakos"
SON "Well they still sound like 3 easy teams to me dad"
DAD "Actually Monaco reached the final the year before, Olympiakos had
won their league 7 times out of the previous 8 seasons, and Deportivofinished
above the galacticos of Real Madrid in their league".
SON "Jeez dad, that sounds like quite a difficult group then".
DAD "yeh I suppose your right son, but they were still lucky -
it took amighty shot by Gerrard against Olympiakos to get through".
SON "oh is that the goal were your hero Andy Gray goes berserk
shouting "you beauty, you beauty, what a hit son, what a hit!!!!"
DAD "yes son it is"
SON "oh ok. Well what happened in the last 16 dad, who did
they draw?"
DAD "Bayer Leverkusen"
SON "Bayer who?"
DAD "Exactly son, but they had beaten Real Madrid 3-0 at home, and won
their group that included Dinamo Kiev and Roma too."
SON "bloody hell dad, they sound good".
DAD "yes, I suppose you're right son"
SON "so did they win on away goals or something"
DAD "errrrr, no, they won both legs 3-1 each"
SON "oh - well who next then dad"
DAD "Juventus"
SON "How the f#ck did they get past them Dad?"
DAD "Well they did - they won 2-1 at home, and cruised to a 0-0 away draw
without Juve having hardly any chances".
SON "were Juve sh#t at that time - had all their decent players gone or
something?"
DAD "well actually they still had players like Del Piero,
Nedved, Ibrahimovic, Thuram, and Buffon in the side. And they won Serie A a few
weeks later."
SON "wow, they beat the Italian champions elect - which piss easy team
did they get in the semi then?"
DAD "Chelsea"
SON "Chelsea - for f#cks sake - what a piss easy draw - they've won
nothing, Everton have won more than them".
DAD "well that season they won the Premiership with a record
number of points and the League Cup but the Red ****s didn't let them score in 180
minutes of football"
SON "Jesus Christ - so Liverpool beat the English Champions
elect too"
DAD "yes son, they bloody well did".
SON "so after all that I suppose all the good teams had been
knocked out
DAD "not quite son, AC Milan awaited them in the final"
SON "no way - aren't they the 2nd most successful team in the
competition's history".
DAD "yes son they are"
SON "so were Liverpool lucky because Milan had all their good players out
with injuries"
DAD "no - they had Shevchenko, Crespo, Maldini, Nesta, Cafu, Kaka, Stam,
Dida, Gattuso, Pirlo, and Seedorf".
SON "your 'avin a laff"
DAD "it gets worse son, Milan were cruising 3-0 up at half-time".
SON "what happened, did they have 3 men sent off in the second half -how
did Liverpool get back into the game?"
DAD "no, Milan had no men sent off, the Red ****s scored 3 goals in 6
minutes"
SON "against the best defence in Europe"
DAD "yes!!!, against the best defence in Europe"
SON "so what happened next - extra time?"
DAD "yes son, and Dudek made the luckiest save ever to stop a Shevchenko
shot from a yard"
SON "why was it lucky dad - did it hit him on the arse, nose, shoulder or
something"
DAD "no son, his hand"
SON "well aren't goalies meant to save shots with their hands"
DAD "yeah but that's besides the point"
SON "then what"
DAD "penalties!"
SON "English teams are crap at penalties"
DAD "not this f#ckin time they weren't - they only missed one.
And that
s
how Liverpool became the luckiest team to win the European Cup".
SON "but I bet when they brought the cup home there was hardly anyone to watch as all Liverpool fans live anywhere but Liverpool you say. How many was there, 5,,000 or so?"
DAD "1 million people lined the streets".
SON "so let's get this straight dad - Liverpool had 3 good teams in their
group, they then knocked out a team who had beaten Real Madrid 3-0, they
then knocked out the future Serie A champions, then knocked out the
future Premiership champions, before coming back from 3-0 down to beat the
2nd most successful club in Europe. And then the whole population
of Liverpool came out to welcome them home!!!!
DAD "that about sums it up son"
SON "dad?"
DAD "yes son"
SON "can I have a Liverpool shirt for my birthday next week, and can you
stop calling me Duncan - I'm Stevie from now on"
:lol: :lol:
