Originally Posted by MARK EG
An Australian, an Irishman and a Glaswegian are in a bar. > > They're staring at another man sitting on his own at a table in the > corner. > > He's so familiar, and not recognising him is driving them mad. > > They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: > > "My God, it's Jesus!" > > Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. > > Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and > a bottle of Buckfast. > > Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men, and drinks the > pints slowly, one after another. > > After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. > > He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for > the Guinness. > > When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: "My God! The > arthritis I've had for 30 years is gone. It's a miracle!" > > Jesus then shakes the Aussie's hand, thanking him for the lager. As he > lets go, the man's eyes widen in shock. > > "Strewth mate, the bad back I've had all my life is completely gone! > It's a miracle." > > Jesus then approaches the Glaswegian who knocks over a chair and a > table in trying to get away from the Son of God. > > "What's wrong my son?" says Jesus. > > The Glaswegian shouts, "fu*k off, I'm on disability benefit!"