!!!!!!!!!!!!! Qlub Tempo ::: Full Report !!!!!!!!!!!
After an eventful and relaxing plane journey in which we saw two blokes being escorted off the plane for being too pissed, :lol: Mike and I arrived in the Dam at 6pm local time, we were jibbering wrecks and psyched about Qlub Tempo. After being accosted by two crackheads in the train station who expected money for giving us adivice Note: this is the dodgiest place to be if you a tourist. we thought the best thing to do is get ourselves to a coffee shop called De Rokerij and take in the surroundings. After a purchase of Bubblegum (highly recommended) we soon realized that the skunk in Amsterdam is a different breed, it sent us both west. :shock: At this point random dutch people started talking to us which took me by suprise as I'm not really used to strangers talking to me as in the UK we are much more insular and reserved (I was also blitzed out of my mind which didn't help). It took me a while to get used to this although Mike lived in the Dam before so he was prepared.
After realizing we were far too cained to be going anywhere we decided to lay off the funky and hit the booze. As we were skint we decided to mouch to a supermarket and buy some there. While we were there, red eyed and spaced, two of the biggest dreads pushed in front of us in the queue and then turned round and staired at us while we were paying, we found them waiting outside talking on phones...this didn't bode well so we ****ing DID ONE as fast as our stoned feet could move (the funky had made our legs feel detached which made it hard work). This was kinda a wake up call to the darker elements of this beautiful city. :evil:
After downing the beer we decided it was time to make it to Qlub Tempo and see our favourite nutter Mark EG, blow the cloggs off the dutch! We got the train to Zaandam and then proceded to follow some people to the venue...jibbering at them as we went. We arrived at the club at 10.30 and after athorough search we entered the club, note they were not bothered about weed during these searches and it seemed everyone had a bag. We just caught the end of The Prophet although we didn't pay much attention as we were in such awe of the club. As you walk in there is an area that sells cigarettes and a very long bar area which had two sides, it meant that you didn't have to queue for a drink (we appreciated this as we're both piss heads), they have a token system which meant that you didn't have to piss about with change, 1 token for small beer and two for a mixer, drinks were pricey here but we didn't really come here for booze (wink wink). At the end of the bar was the main room which was big, the lighting was perfect (not to dark), the strobes flashed in short bursts and the decor around the room was minimal but stylish and had these mad flashing lights built into the wall. There was second smaller room and a third room which was about half the size of the main arena (still pretty big!!) this was hosted by Straight On recordings and was headlined by Dj Luna. They didn't open this room until 12 o'clock which was good as it made the main room fill up and got the crowd going.
The next DJ was Sunny D who had a crazy blue cowboy hat, he was good and seemed to wind his set down. I think he did that on purpose cos the next DJ and highlight for the night was our favourite nutta MARK E.G.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The dutch had never seen Mark before and they were amused by his antics often stopping just to watch and laugh! Mark played a blinder, one of the best sets I'd heard in a while playing the "HERE'S JOHNNY" tune which got us rushing our tits off. After destroying the record he then went on to eat the sleeve..hehe I have to mention the lazers at this point as they didn't turn them on until Mark played...this impressed me as it made the lazers special and more effective. The lazers were pointed at these huge mirror balls and when the hit the ballsthe refracted off and shot everywhere creating a mad visual display that blew us away. The dutch ****in loved him and everyone I spoke to said they loved that crazy english DJ. After a natter with Mark we left him to get mauled. The next DJ was Arnie L2 and Mirko Milano, from what we can remember they were good although we were both pretty twatted all night, Derb played next and he was good.
At around 2.50 the worst thing that could happen if you go all the way to the Dam for a night out occurred...... the bouncers came out of no where and grabbed me!!!!!! I was really mashed and in a corner I'd just necked another gubbin and they grabbed me saying that the camera's had seen me. They escorted me in my dazed state through various rooms into the back. This huge cunt put a plastic glove on and I thought he was gonna cavity search me...they asked me to remove my shoes and then they found what I had...I won't go into how much but it was enough to send a small elephant under. They said "NO HARD DRUGS" over and over again and then said the one thing in the world that I didn't want to here....."I'm sorry buddy but your night is O V E R" . They escorted me out and made me wait this outdoor bit. After pleading for mercy they said I was lucky that they didn't call the police and that I should shut up and sit over there...I agreed (no point pissing 7 foot monkeys off). So I sat out there chatting to these fit dutch birds who weren't allowed in until they left and I was left to dwell on things on my own :( Mike emerges from inside and tells me that Mark had a word with the promoters to see if there was something they could do...but unfortunately the bouncers word is law. It was 3.30 now and I was attempting to accept my fate of missing possibly the best night of my life until.....
This dutch geezer was thrown out!!! He was ****in spittin over it and he stormed back inside. 30 seconds later out he comes with five bouncers wrestling with him (he put up a good fight...hehe). While they were pre-occupied I like a possessed ferret sneaked back in...there was NO WAY I could of missed this opportunity to get back in to this awesome night!! Once inside I was particularly paranoid and sneaked into the centre of the crowd. Here I met some really sound dutch geezers who after explaining what happened looked after me all night and sorted me out with a couple E's, I had no money as I had spent everything both me and Mike had earlier. From this point on I had the best dance of my life, the fact that I got back inside made it one of the surrealist moments too! I finally bumped into Mike and Mark, feeling quite sheepish still but off my ****in nut. :shock: :mrgreen:
The only downside of this adventure was that I missed Lady Dana, next time eh!). but the dutch that I met told me she wasn't on form. Seems like they have heard her too many times. I did manage to catch the Alpha Twins and finally Technoboy who was ****in blinding! :twisted:
After this trip to the Dam and Qlub Tempo it opened my eyes to what is truly going on in the hardstyle scene there. The scene is massive and vibrant and is growing everyday. The dutch I spoke to all said that the scene was getting bigger. The scene in Amsterdam puts what we have to shame and makes what we have small in comparison. They have a radio that supports hardstyle and hardcore bring the sound to people in amsterdam and globally via the web (checkout all them q-dance downloads off kaaza!) One thing I noticed is that they don't sell any merchandice at this event and I couldn't get any in shops. Seems they only rely on record and CD sales. It did make it classier though which I liked.
As for the clubs they are state of the art and they must off have had experts craft the events getting the perfect lighting, sound, air con, DJ's and even security (hehe). They are extremely professional and are catering for a huge dutch market who love a certain sound. A sound that makes them stamp there feet in a crazy dutch style dance.
That's it from us, hope ya enjoyed the read! We both had an amazing time and learnt an important lesson that xtc is banned in da Dam, we were under the impression that they had drug testing inside the clubs but this has changed. We were told it was because a police woman died at an event in the dam and this has caused a change in the laws leading to stricter controls. I'll be more careful next time.
Big shouts to Mark EG (thanks for trying to get me back inside mate), Arnie L2 cheers for the beers we owe ya ;) Andrew (for looking after us in the club and driving us to the beach) and the dutch psycho who got thrown out....hahahaha..wouldn't of got back inside without ya mate. . :thumbs up:
We'll be back real soon.
Peace
Tobe and Mike
