Parts of this work really well, but others I'm not so sure about...

Like the bass sound, though I think it could do without the chord change every 8th bar - sounds a bit cheeky to my ears. As others have mentioned, I think a lot of the synth sounds are too straight sounding...

There's a lot going on though, which is definately a good thing. The structured form helps keep things interesting too. I really like the way the track emerges from the break, I hope you'll keep this if you rework the track...