Being active online and meeting similair minded people can be a big boon as well. I know a certain local club Jak-N can't be arsed with paying loads of dosh for the big name DJs and instead they are more than happy to scour about for local or far flung DJs who can rock it for there nights, won't break the bank and probably haven't played up here before. I think they've already booked a few folk from the forums after hearing their stuff on here, eh dirty bass?

You can also make your plight better by being dead cheap. Offer to play at places for traveling money and fifty quid, the clubs which pull big names won't be interested but the smaller venues eyes will light up at the oppertunity to get someone decent down for much cheapness.

Finally I don't think you really have to kiss ass all that much, but certainly being extremely nice helps quite a lot probably. Making a good impression and all. Meting DJs when they come up as well might help out a lot as well, grease a palm with a few silver CD's and you never know who they might give it to or might play it to which could open some oppertunities up, especialy amongst the less well known DJs who can understand your plight.