Hi mate...

I split my response in to a positive and negative section... start with negative...

Negatives:

Samples & Instruments used. That's the only thing I think is wrong. They sound rather bland at the moment and dull which brings the track down. Some EQ work needs to be done to even out the high hats and percussion from drowning out the melody and the track.

Positives:

I actually really really the overall construction. It's put together very well and has a lot going on which is good. It has good ideas and flows well... it just needs the instrumetns/sounds used to be different to complement the good work with the structure. It's clear you've got a good idea of how to lay things out... I think it's just experimenting and finding the key to getting things to sound better... which takes time and tinkering but will pay off.

Overall:

Nice work. Good layout and design. Very neat and tidy work. Just need to work/find/use different instruments or samples to make it better.

Keep working man as you defo have good potential.

:)