Love the tune, but the production needs work, and I reckon it would work very well, with an open minded or more progressive thinking dancefloor.
The kick is a little too round and sinewave-ish.
I think a more "real" sounding kick would be better, something with a good solid click on the nose, and a good thud in the low end.
The way this tune progresses is great, and very clever, with melodies changing domination without you really noticing.
This is very dark in a subtle and sublime way and it gets very intense in parts, and I would love to hear a proper finished and mastered version.
Well done mate, it makes me feel all warm inside when I hear something genuinly original like this.