woah.
I'm just getting familiar with your sound having listened to the voidloss set 'from inside' that i got from your site recently. I had a few listens to this set and am getting familiar with this vastly different sound. I like it and find it a very intent driven sound that implies the feeling of being driven or focussing intent subtly yet unwavering.

This track: are you after input?? if so....

I reckon bring the vocals in slightly earlier and build the intensity of the vocals.

Vocals need some variance now and again, maybe on one word or phrase to emphasise now and again. Still keeping the chantiness but adding some inflexions.

Coming from the dirtiness into intence clarity and almost a forced shouting (but not too much as that doesnt seem to be your way) - then drop them into that distorted farked up section like at the end. You could even turn the track and utilise the distorted elements and lift the intensity or feel of the track - change its direction to emphasise the meaning of the vocals (your dreams destroyed etc). So that the track is seeming to go in one direction then suffers insane distortion at the midpoint and finishes really showing that change has occured - reality has been altered as such.

The music should drop away or simplify as the vocals grow then leave the vocals hanging and then drop back into the music with the elements you have in the middle section currently.

Maybe add or fill out the bassline. this track needs to have some of your subtle felt but not heard basslines you use. Maybe go from the distorted sound into something fuller. The bassline would like some more spotlight somehow I reckon, just a little less distortion.

Its a great piece and as I said I am still getting used to your sound so I may not be completely helpful here?? Just ideas......hehehe, I been working on tracks all day so I may be faded now. Its time for bed.

Cheers.