Option E: Sell the missus into the slave trade via Azerbajahn, use the money to buy some speakers, and a load of porn.
reminds me funny story,. my friend was in Tunisia and some local guy liked his girlfriend so much that he offered him a brand new Ferrari or 20 camels for her .) still cant understand he didnt do this trade.
lucky guy... i'd be lucky to get a donkey for mine :(