ok, well I listened to the track through the Absolute 2`s in the studio and here is my opinion (not critisism)
Firstly, Ouch, you like it hard then! Ok I like it, industrial and clangy.
First thing I notice is the Kick (although I like it Dirty, is just a bit to dirty and this actaully softens the blow).
That snare is a little dry.
And your clanging percussion lacks weight and punch (overcompression)
I like all the ambient industrial doomey stuff in the breakdown.
That shaker is a little dry too.
Ooh the rocket taking off end too breakdown is nice.
And the "Clang" you added under the snare after the break works nicely (I`d emphasise it a little more).
The metallic swoopyness at 3:45 is nice.

Overall a potential Pounder of a Mother****er!!!

Just needs a general clean up.

More Please!!!!

Steve D-Bass