Well I've just listened to this, I like the groove although I think it would benefit from a few more percussion loops to fill it out, maybe some more in the background with plenty of verb to add some depth. I think you need to look at your bass tho mate, as it sounds a bit weak on my monitors, layer another sub kik and turn the bass up a bit maybe with a sub on it.

I really hate to say this bit, as I know the whole idea revolves around it, but I don't like the vocal, it hasn't got the energy to carry the tune on it's own, and I think it drags a bit. I think tho it might work if the percussion was fuller and had some more drive to it, so it could be salvagable. Maybe try to cut it up a bit more into shorter sections if you can and play around with it a bit.

A good start tho, definitely work on puttin more energy in tho.