i hate reverbs and try to avoid them because they're cheesy effects just as delay flanger chorus etc :D

jokes aside, i'm looking for something that i could use for quick offline processing. all the reverbs take ages to load up and calculate shit, i need something that takes 0.5 sec to load up and it's reasonably quick to render with....intending to use it for some short creative effects, not really caring for 100% precise reality approximations..just to make things smear and gel better, but not too noisy

there are some simple reverbs but they usually sound way too shit :/

any ideas?