Dj Bone's "Music Speech" Stolen by another Label!

[tocsin]

can't understand how people havent got tired of that "jack" speech already...

In the beginning, there was Wack, and Wack had a groove.
And from this groove came the groove of all graves.
And while one day viciously throwing down on his box, Wack boldy declared,
"Let there be MINIMAL!"
and Minimal music was born.
"I am, you see,
I am
the creator, and this is my condo!
And, in my condo there is ONLY Minimal music.
But, I am not so selfish because once you enter my condo it then becomes MY condo and MY Minimal music!"
And, you see, no one man owns Minimal because Minimal music is a universal language, poorly spoken and easily forgotten by all.
You see, Minimal is a feeling that no one can understand really unless you're deep into the vibe of Minimal.
Minimal is an uncontrollable desire to Wack your body.
And, as I told you before, this is my condo and my Minimal music.
And in every condo, you understand, there is a hipster douche.
And, in this condo, the hipster douche is Wack.
Now some of you who might wonder,
"Who is Wack, and what is it that Wack does?"
Wack is the one who gives you the power to Wack your body!
Wack is the one who gives you the power to do the snake.
Wack is the one who gives you the key to the wiggly worm.
Wack is the one who learns you how to coke your body.
Wack is the one that can bring nations and nations of all Wackers together under one condo.
You may be black, you may be white; you may be Jew or Gentile. It don't make a difference in OUR condo. But our condo board won.t feel comfortable if you.re one out of the four.
And this is fresh.

[DannyBlack]

If we change 'Wack' to 'Smack we get...

In the beginning, there was Smack, and Smack had a groove.
And from this groove came the groove of all graves.
And while one day viciously throwing down on his box, Smack boldy declared,
"Let there be MINIMAL!"
and Minimal music was born.
"I am, you see,
I am
the creator, and this is my condo!
And, in my condo there is ONLY Minimal music.
But, I am not so selfish because once you enter my condo it then becomes MY condo and MY Minimal music!"
And, you see, no one man owns Minimal because Minimal music is a universal language, poorly spoken and easily forgotten by all.
You see, Minimal is a feeling that no one can understand really unless you're deep into the vibe of Minimal.
Minimal is an uncontrollable desire to Smack your body.
And, as I told you before, this is my condo and my Minimal music.
And in every condo, you understand, there is a hipster douche.
And, in this condo, the hipster douche is Smack.
Now some of you who might wonder,
"Who is Smack, and what is it that Smack does?"
Smack is the one who gives you the power to Smack your body!
Smack is the one who gives you the power to do the snake.
Smack is the one who gives you the key to the wiggly worm.
Smack is the one who learns you how to coke your body.
Smack is the one that can bring nations and nations of all Smackers together under one condo.
You may be black, you may be white; you may be Jew or Gentile. It don't make a difference in OUR condo. But our condo board won.t feel comfortable if you.re one out of the four.
And this is fresh.

[force]

In the beginning, there was Wack, and Wack had a groove.
And from this groove came the groove of all graves.
And while one day viciously throwing down on his box, Wack boldy declared,
"Let there be MINIMAL!"
and Minimal music was born.
"I am, you see,
I am
the creator, and this is my condo!
And, in my condo there is ONLY Minimal music.
But, I am not so selfish because once you enter my condo it then becomes MY condo and MY Minimal music!"
And, you see, no one man owns Minimal because Minimal music is a universal language, poorly spoken and easily forgotten by all.
You see, Minimal is a feeling that no one can understand really unless you're deep into the vibe of Minimal.
Minimal is an uncontrollable desire to Wack your body.
And, as I told you before, this is my condo and my Minimal music.
And in every condo, you understand, there is a hipster douche.
And, in this condo, the hipster douche is Wack.
Now some of you who might wonder,
"Who is Wack, and what is it that Wack does?"
Wack is the one who gives you the power to Wack your body!
Wack is the one who gives you the power to do the snake.
Wack is the one who gives you the key to the wiggly worm.
Wack is the one who learns you how to coke your body.
Wack is the one that can bring nations and nations of all Wackers together under one condo.
You may be black, you may be white; you may be Jew or Gentile. It don't make a difference in OUR condo. But our condo board won.t feel comfortable if you.re one out of the four.
And this is fresh.

Christ! *exhales* missed this the first time (thank fuk)

Another attempt at wit i suppose...?