Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.



Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.



Q. What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.





Q: How many Man United fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 560,001. That is 1 to change it, 60,000 to say they've been changing it for years and 500,000 to buy the replica kit.



Michael Barrymore has offered Manchester United £1 million pounds to play as their striker because he wants 10 pricks behind him and 67,000 assholes jumping up and down.



Q: What do Manchester fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.



Q: How many Man U supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.



Q: What's the difference between Alex Ferguson and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Alex Ferguson.



Q: What do you call a Mancunian with no arms and legs?
A: Trustworthy.



Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Man Utd. fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.



Q: What's the difference between a Man-U fan and a Vibrator?
A: A Man U fan is a real dick

:lol: :lol: