F*ck dude, that's some heavy real life shit you've got yourself there. I'm sorry, I can't offer you any work as I'm not in a position to do so. just wanted to wish you well. I hope everything all falls into place, so you can get the op as soon as you can.

Don't worry about being a bastard sometimes, we all are. (but it is good to see ourselves as such sometimes, and try to act on it) You need to forgive everyone who has ever wronged you, and forgive yourself for any wrong doing or saying which you have sent to others. Let go and move on mate. We live and learn, here's to you being able to continue that experience. *raises glass*