The thing is I wanna learn the stuff your talking about, I wanna know how to EQ but taking everything else into context and how the other elements work with each other.

I tend to EQ a sound so it fits nicely within the mix, what should I be looking to do then?
its kind of beyond the scope of what we can explain here. the best way is to buy a tutorial dvd on mixing, have a look for the tony shepard master class dvds. they're based on live music but learning to mix real guitars, bass, vocals and drums is the best way IMO. they're a lot busier in the mix and if you can mix them you'll pick up mixing samples and softsynths a lot quicker.
A was basically told to lower all levels and use your soundcard volume to hear more of the mix, he was talking within ableton though?? dunno if that makes a difference, so aslong as your not peaking at the master then you can drive the volumes up of the individual sounds?
again thats not true. as far as im aware, abletons engine is 32bit. either way, once you go to 24bit (which is what ALL DAWs are minimum) its only the master and plugins that you need to worry about clipping.

And whats the situation on limiters? Read articles about how limiting is terrible, no dynamics within the tracks etc so I then dont use them and then my tracks are alot lower than other peoples tracks
again you've been the victim of net information. limiters are an exceptionally powerful tools, i use them everyday... BUT like compressors, you need to understand how they work or you can balls everything up with them.